We heard how our grandfathers chased after our grandmothers and envied it. We read about countless men running into a battle that they believed that they wouldn’t come out of alive. We spoke all of the words that we hoped a lover would whisper in our ear. We fell in love with a dead breed of men. We walked into the woods at night by ourselves and didn’t shake in our boots.
We became the men we wanted to marry.
WASHINGTON—Calling the last four days of American life just…I mean, talk about a goddamned punch in the gut, citizens across the nation confirmed today that, Jesus, this week.
This fucking week, sources added.
Christ.
Reduce cellulite. Be gone dry skin. Vanish unwanted facial hair. Diminish stretch marks. Fade age spots. Eliminate feminine odor. Lose weight. Dissolve belly fat. Erase wrinkles.
I think someone wants me to disappear.
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